Who Can Wear a Dead Octopus on Their Head the Longest?
1 - Octopuses cannot be knocked the other guy
Spenny must eat sushi off of Kenny's bare backside.
Original airdate
October 30, 2006

Who Can Wear a Dead Octopus on Their Head the Longest? is the third episode of the third season. Kenny and Spenny must each pick an octopus to wear on their head for a certain period of time. If either removes the octopus before the timer runs out, the other man wins.

The CompetitionEdit

Kenny immediately remarks on the strangeness of the nature of the competition, whereas Spenny is concerned solely with the correct plural pronunciation of the word "octopus". They set off to a fish market to select their octopuses, a coin toss determining that Spenny must wear the bigger octopus of the two. Within seconds of putting on their octopuses, the guys find problems with the texture, sliminess and coldness of them.

Kenny places all but a few tentacles of his octopus in a rastaman hat, which he wears on his head, whilst Spenny wraps a tensor band around his octopus. Kenny immediately shows that the octopus is in the hat, as preperation for a future tactic. Kenny is able to make the most of having an octopus on his head, his suggestions of eating sushi and then promptly chewing on a tentacle of his own octopus horrifying Spenny. 

One of Kenny's friends shows up to hand him an animal crate. While Spenny is sitting on the couch, Kenny dangles the cat he received above Spenny's octopus, but it doesn't manage to knock off Spenny's octopus. Desperate, Kenny removes his own octopus, chops off some tentacles and safety pins them to his rastaman hat, in order to fool Spenny into thinking he's wearing the intact octopus.

After a hard night of attempting to sleep, Spenny pours himself a glass of orange juice. A few hours later, Spenny complains of weird feelings in his head, and Kenny comes down to add that he also does. Spenny's vision is jittery, and he becomes entranced in his own reflection, which is wearing an octopus on its head. In a flashback, Kenny is revealed to have purchased LSD, and mixed the hits with Spenny's orange juice, and in reality Kenny is feeling fine. His plan is to convince Spenny that octopus ink, once absorbed into the skin, causes similar effects to LSD.

Spenny is soon able to provide much entertainment to Kenny and the crew, hugging Kenny and fearing for the safety of a bug he finds in the back yard. Spenny briefly suspects Kenny of slipping him drugs, but talks himself out of it soon after. He sinks further and further into his high, spouting philosophical mantras and becoming entranced by the flashing lights of Kenny's video games.

Kenny waits in Spenny's room dressed as Jesus Christ, and while Spenny grovels on the ground, the former tries to convince him to take the octopus off, but Spenny doesn't listen, too enraptured by the presence of who he thinks is Jesus Christ. 

Kenny quickly becomes desperate to have Spenny take off the octopus. He undresses down to his underwear and puts on a bunny mask, and has Spenny follow him. Once out of sight, Kenny switches masks to a more demonic one to scare the octopus off of Spenny's head, a tactic which, yet again, doesn't work. Spenny follows up with a dance in the rain, rolling around on the muddy ground, and soiling himself. The crew washes him off in the shower, where they leave him alone to clean himself.

A while later, Kenny finds the front door open and Spenny gone. He meets up with him a couple blocks down the road, putting Spenny in the production van and driving him to the lake, Spenny's original destination. There, Spenny releases his dead octopus into Lake Ontario, and Kenny falls to his knees in disbelief and relief, glad the competition is finally over.