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Who Can 69 the Longest?

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Who Can 69 the Longest?
Rules
None.
Winner
Kenny
Humiliation
Kenny coats Spenny's buttocks in dog food, and has dogs lick it off.
Original airdate
November 20, 2009

Who Can 69 the Longest? is the first episode of the sixth season. Kenny and Spenny must emulate, but not necessarily perform (unless they want to), the sexual act known as 69'ing, wherein both participants place themselves parallel to each other, but facing opposite directions, giving each participant full access to the other's genitals. Should either Kenny or Spenny remove themselves from the position, they lose.


The CompetitionEdit

Spenny begins by vehemently rejecting the concept of the competition, complaining that he'd been opposed to it since its inception yet it is still the official competition. Spenny is in reality under the impression that the competition consists of Kenny and Spenny duct taping their penises together, an idea presumably implanted by Kenny. Spenny decides to call his friend's bluff by fetching the tape and readying himself for the competition. Once Spenny puts the duct tape on his own penis, Kenny capitalizes by yanking it off, injuring Spenny's member. The guys redo the introduction, this time both knowing the correct competition. 

Since the only clothes the guys will wear will be jock straps, Spenny retreats to his room to inspect his backside for any "unpleasantness" (pimples, hair, ect.) Kenny enters and is disgusted by what he sees. After fooling around for a bit, Kenny goes into the back yard and admits that both he and Spenny are delaying the competition for as long as possible, neither one wanting to participate. Back upstairs, Spenny tells the camera that he decides to compound the inherent ridiculousness of the competition with the serious issue of global warming. 

After some coaxing by the crew, the guys decide to begin. They don their jock straps, assume positions, and are strapped together in a special harness by the crew. Once securely fastened, Kenny stands up, Spenny suspended horizontally between Kenny's legs, as the former of the two attempts to make his way to the kitchen for coffee. The walking method proving ineffective, they decide to roll. It quickly devolves into the guys spitting into each other's anuses and punching each other. Kenny comes up with an idea, and humps Spenny's chest. 

Kenny ends the fight to continue the trek for his coffee. They make considerable headway (about five feet) before fighting again. Once in the dining room, Kenny decides to return to their standing/crabwalk method. As Spenny urges him to stand, Kenny farts directly onto Spenny's face. They decide to stop moving and regain their strength. The crew, having had enough, lifts them back to the couch, where Kenny threatens Spenny with diarrhea. 

Later, Spenny is given a book to read while Kenny plays video games. Spenny begins with his global warming lecture, and Kenny has fun by making ridiculous rebuttals to Spenny's points, and pointing out that Spenny is constantly using his air conditioner. Having had enough of laying on the couch, the guys attempt another venture into the kitchen. Mid-way through the journey, the crew leaves together in a conference. Away from the guys, the crew ultimately decides to liven up the competition by abusing Kenny and Spenny, who are helpless as long as they are strapped in. 

The crew move Kenny and Spenny using a mechanic's dolley, and assault them with hard objects like books, plates and sports equipment. Later, they put the guys on a pallet, and have it lifted several feet in the air using a forklift. They return inside and are allowed to rest until the arrival of a hearse. The crew loads Kenny and Spenny into it, and it transports them to an indoor skydiving place. Exhausted, they are moved yet again to a park where a fire engine is parked. They are set on the ground and given ear plugs and goggles, to prepare for the incoming onslaught. The firefighters spray them with a powerful - and painful - jet of water, the force of which pushes and rolls them. They plead for it to stop, but when it doesn't Spenny forfeits the competition. Exhausted, Kenny flashes a victory sign at the camera while Spenny, who has removed the harness and has distanced himself, flips of the firefighters. 

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