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Who's the Best Pro Wrestler?
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Rules
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None.
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Winner
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Kenny
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Humiliation
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A naked Spenny is left at the mercy of the Iron Sheik, who attacks him.
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Original airdate
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November 24, 2008
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Who's the Best Pro Wrestler? is the sixth episode of the fifth season. The guys must prepare characters, moves, and a fight sequence which they will perform with the aid of a real pro wrestler (not each other). Whomever the judge deems the best pro wrestler is the winner.
The Competition[]
Spenny outs himself as a big wrestling fan, rattling off famous wrestlers from the top of his head in the first seconds of the introduction. He also establishes that they must each wrestle a third party; if they wrestled each other, any mistakes each person may make would ruin the match. Spenny is very excited as the competition begins.
Spenny recounts the tale of his favorite wrestling match, which he iterates contained no actual wrestling, this giving Kenny an idea. Kenny enters Spenny's office and improvises his first handle: The Agitator. He quickly drops the idea in favor of The Follower (as he follows Spenny into the back yard), and later The Believer (who believes everything he hears).
The guys are driven to a wrestling ring where Spenny is to be trained by Tyson Dux and Kenny by Celine Jion. An eager Spenny enters the ring with Tyson, whose first lesson is falling properly. Wrestling proves to be a bug hurdle Spenny must overcome, as he is physically injured by most moves he performs. Kenny, despite his japes and taunts directed at Spenny, looks visibly worried at the stunts he may have to perform. Spenny sends his off.
Kenny returns home, where he divulges his plan of being a pure entertainer, and so will not have to perform any wrestling or get hurt. He shows off a few character ideas to the camera, but they are all rebuffed by his crew, who deem the outfits lame or disturbing. Exasperated, Kenny decides to take a bath to mull more ideas around. Back at the ring, Spenny is on the verge of being outright abused by Tyson, who takes Spenny through all the very painful moves. Tyson tells the camera that while Spenny is able to take the tough beating he's being dealt, he breaks character after most hits.
Kenny's bath is an odd mish-mash of a set-up. He's in his underwear, makes a bagel for himself with a nearby toaster, and only enjoys himself after hammering a nail into the wall. Meanwhile, Spenny tells Tyson that he wants to bleed during the match. Tyson informs him that it can be done, but the bleeding will take a while to stop. Back in the bath, Jamie Tiernay, Kenny's unit director, enthusiastically asks if Kenny wants to play some hoops, and throws him a basketball. Kenny places it in the water and falls alseep a while later. A (fake) spider makes its way up onto Kenny's shoulder, scaring him so much that he knocks the toaster into the bathtub. The shock is so great that the house's lights flicker, and the water steams up. Kenny's crew flees. Amidst the water vapor, a horrific creature appears. Using Kenny's body, the basketball (with a new face) acting as the head, and wielding a hammer, the creature taps its hammer on the camera lens, before muttering the words "Yarp-yarp".
Later, Jamie, as a scientist, disciplines the newly-born creature in the living room, attempting to dissuade it from a recently-arrived Spenny, who only stares into the camera and creature in disbelief. Spenny reads its name from the whiteboard: Specimen Yarp, also known as Yarp-Yarp. Jamie holds up a used tampon, instantly calming Yarp-Yarp. Spenny wanders into the kitchen to express how lame Kenny's wrestling character is. Spenny then makes his way to bed, but not before noting that Kenny won't be able to wrestle during the competition.
The next day, Spenny presents his own character, the Nice Guy, to Tyson, who seems impressed. Tyson then surprises Spenny with a retired wrestler and former world champion: The Iron Sheik. A starstruck Spenny attempts to make conversation with him, but can barely understand his unintelligible angry ranting. Meanwhile, Page Magen, the announcer for the upcoming matches, attempts to engineer an interview between Yarp-Yarp and Celine Jion.
The first match is between The Nice Guy and "Textbook" Tyson Dux. The Nice Guy attempts what he does best, but Tyson merely shrugs him off, and they trade blows. After a few moves, The Nice Guy's forehead is cut open, and he bleeds, though seemingly is unaffected by it. As The Nice Guy is put in a headlock by Tyson, Yarp-Yarp and Celine Jion unexpectedly appear and jump into the ring. Having joined forces, Yarp-Yarp, Celine Jion and "Textbook" Tyson Dux all put the beatdown on The Nice Guy, who reverts back into Spenny, begging the other wrestlers to stop.
The judge, while acknowledging the decent fight that The Nice Guy was able to put up, hands Kenny the win. Despite being totally unimpressed by Yarp-Yarp, the judge noticed that Kenny remained in-character while Spenny did not. Having broken a cardinal rule of wrestling, Spenny loses the competition.