First Guy to Touch the Ground Loses
1 - The floor makes up part of the ground.

2 - No touching the other guy's stuff. 3 - No physical contact.

4 - The crew cannot provide aid to either competitor.
Kenny plays with his penis in front of his mother.
Original airdate
October 17, 2008

First Guy to Touch the Ground Loses is the fifth episode of the fifth season. The guys must remain off the ground for the duration of the competition. If either steps, touches, falls on or otherwise makes any physical contact with the ground, they lose.

The CompetitionEdit

The competition begins, and Spenny makes his way to the rule board why walking on objects acting as stepping stones. To remain mobile, Spenny stands on overturned flowerpots and keeps them pressed to his feet by holding the ropes connected to the pots taught. While writing down the rules, Kenny shoots Spenny in the back with a pellet gun. Spenny takes cover in the next room. Kenny makes his way to a wheelchair, and uses it to traverse the floor to find his moon shoes, which are essentially foot-sized platforms which are suspended using elastics over a hollow tube. As he shows them off to Spenny, he falls over and catches himself on a bench, nearly losing the competition. 

Spenny tests how his flowerpots fare against the stairs. As he fails to climb even a few, the doorbell rings. Enter Zeus, a large bodybuilder Kenny has hired to carry him up to his room. While the two sit together in an awkward silence in Kenny's room, Spenny fails in his numerous trials to ascend to the house's second storey, and when one of the speakers he's using tumbles down the stairs while he climbs, he finds himself stranded. As Zeus descends the stairs to return home, Spenny asks for a lift off the stairs, but Zeus is more interested in the possibility that Spenny had once licked a woman's anus, based on a story Kenny told him upstairs. 

Spenny is able to dismount the stairs and decides to use rollerblades to climb them, arguing that Kenny's moon shoes are also a form of footwear (which is forbidden). In his office, Spenny presents the crew with his victory idea: sneaking out when Kenny's not paying attention, and boarding a boat until the competition time runs out, as a boat technically does not touch the ground, and Spenny would be able to walk around as he normally would. 

Kenny makes his way downstairs and is greeted by Spenny, who is wearing a captain's hat and makes sailing puns as a nod to the audience, who are aware of his plan. Spenny isn't too bothered by Kenny's insults, as he thinks victory is assured. Later, as Spenny brings a pair of shoes to his room, Kenny shoots him once again with the pellet gun. An enraged Spenny beats him with one of his flowerpots and shoots him with what little pellets remain in the gun. 

Spenny moves on to what Kenny calls the "sex chair", which is a seat that is suspended by straps to the frame, and stirrups for Spenny's feet. Using his wheelchair, Kenny makes his way to the back side of the sex chair and knocks the flowerpots away from Spenny using a basketball, stranding Spenny once again. He is able to maneuver his way out of the sex chair and onto nearby furniture, which is mostly obstructed by a large hammerhead shark statue. Kenny throws pennies at Spenny, taken from the latter's penny collection. 

In the kitchen, Kenny asks his crew if they hear the same noise he does. Kenny looks in the oven, and finds a loaf of bread with googly eyes and a mouth cut out, which Kenny (playing himself as insane) names Ryan. Spenny climbs out of his sex chair, but while walking along the furniture, he loses his balance, but the destroyed furniture prevents him from touching the ground. As he climbs back in the chair, he notices Kenny's loaf of bread and inquires as to its purpose. Kenny insists it be called Ryan.

Kenny puts on a suit and adopts a persona similar to that of an eccentric Bond villain, making bread-related puns and using a higher-pitched voice. His first act as this character is to shoot tennis balls at Spenny from a launcher. Once the balls are all shot, Kenny uses a Segway to exit the house and make his way downtown with Ryan, leaving a still-stranded Spenny alone with his crew. 

Kenny returns home with a bag full of crabs, which he throws on Spenny. After a while, Kenny returns with a single docile piranha in an attempt to scare Spenny. Kenny continues with his act despite the fish's meek nature. He places the fish tank under Spenny's sex chair and leaves it there with Spenny. Kenny heads out once more.

Yet again, Kenny returns with more fish-related antics, placing a kiddie pool under the sex chair. He dumps an eel into the pool of extremely shallow water, and Spenny begs the crew to save the eel before it dies. Ryan suddenly asks Kenny to repeat a riddle ("Name a fish with no legs that is electric and swims around under your feet") to Spenny. After Spenny answers the riddle correctly ("An eel"), Kenny rides his Segway away in mock defeat, but loses his balance and, after a valiant struggle to stay standing, falls to the ground, much to Spenny's delight. He celebrates with his crew, and realizes he's suddenly capable of sailing, as he originally intended.

Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.